Since so many people have been kind enough to leave such supportive comments, I’ll update you. If this was all about me, I’d say this past weekend was very possibly the worst one of my life. But it’s not all about me.
Saturday night, Spikey didn’t seem to be doing any better than he was before the vet visit and the shot. He finally managed to stand up around midnight and went outside and took a dump. A very loose one. And that took all his energy. He just lay down on the ground and refused to move. We had to get a blanket, lift him onto the blanket and then use it as a stretcher to get him back into the house.
Today, he hasn’t moved much. Finally at around 9 PM, he stood up and we opened the door and let him go outside for a pee. And then he lay down again but this time I managed to get him to stand up and walk back into the house on his own power. My gf said that he moaned a pit while he was peeing. I joked that when you need to go for a really long time and you finally get to go, it feels so good, hasn’t she ever heard me? A weak joke but the best I can manage right now. At 11 PM, he finally ate something, not much but something. And a little more at midnight.
He picks up his head from time to time and I take that as a cue that he wants something. I bring over his water bowl and he drinks. Then I try to spoon feed him but mostly he turns his head away.
I sit there and look at him and pet him and talk to him. He’s always been a quiet dog. He’s always been into lying down and sleeping and being generally mellow. So the thing is that he doesn’t look any different now than he did 6 weeks ago, the last time we brought him out to the Sai Kung waterfront, when we didn’t have a clue that this was waiting for us. So I look at him, and I know he’s weak and he’s not standing up and he’s not eating, but I can’t quite grasp the concept that he’s ill, or I get that he’s ill but I can’t believe that he’s not going to get better. He doesn’t act like he’s in pain, he doesn’t cry or moan or growl, he just looks very unhappy.
Bogey has always insisted on being the center of attention and is clearly unable to comprehend why we are spending every second with Spikey and ignoring him. There was a point where it was almost as if he figured, “He’s lying there and getting all that attention and they’re ignoring me. Maybe I should try just lying there too?” And he stretched out on the floor next to Spikey, waiting. But since he’s hyperactive, he couldn’t really lie still for more than a couple of minutes. So he cries. I want to think he’s crying because he’s basically never known life without Spikey and he realizes something’s wrong, but he’s probably just crying because he wants a belly rub and isn’t getting it.
The thing is, after living with this for a few days, I’m kind of at peace with the inevitable. As much as one can be. The vet had said if the shot worked, we should return to his office for some vitamins and energy pills on Monday. And my helper, who clearly doesn’t want to part with him, just asked me what time she should go over to pick those up. ”He’s eating now,” she said. But 5 or 6 spoons of food, even energy food, for a 40 kilo dog?
Tomorrow morning I’ll call the vet, discuss his condition the past couple of days, and see what’s next.
This is it. This is how it goes.