More Mewling
Posted by SpikeDec 17
“The lust for comfort destroys the passion of the soul.” Melody Gardot, interviewed here.
So someone read some of the archive stuff I posted here recently and described it as “mewling.” People sometimes leave comments here about “missing the old Spike.” Someone whom I know IRL sent me an email that contained this (and I hope he doesn’t mind my sharing it publicly): “I think you have a gift for communicating but there seems to be a block on communicating your feelings about somethings. The bit about the ‘hide tide; feeling alive’ was one time the angst actually came out and read far more powerfully. But it still left the feeling ‘..this bloke has something passionate to say.’ It’s like you have a block on letting people in. Which of course is understandable.”
Sure, three years ago I was in the habit of exposing myself, of blogging my inner-most thoughts. And I stopped doing that, for the most part, because where did it get me? I got some small measure of fame, I suppose, but little else. If my life was an emotional roller coaster back then, perhaps even a series of manic depressive mood swings, it’s different now.
And now more than ever, it’s difficult for me to find the reasons to publish all that internal stuff here. I keep censoring myself, back-spacing, hitting “save as draft” and never “publish.” I’ve only got a few hundred steady readers – what do I gain from exposing myself? A few more readers?
People never used to know who “Spike” was in real life – I told very few people about the blog and refused a lot of invitations to meet. Now a lot of people do. So there’s that as well.
Okay, first of all, I’m in a steady, monogamous relationship, one that’s going well. I sometimes have the urge to step outside a bit but always manage to remember what I risk losing by doing so, so I don’t do it. So there’s nothing to be blogged about there.
And quite frankly, while I pretend otherwise, losing my job has been a tremendous blow to my confidence and my ego. Oh sure, I wasn’t singled out – almost a thousand of us got the boot at the same time. More fool me for thinking that the company might reward my accomplishments and decide that I should be one of the very few who got to stay. More fool me for not caring more about my job to try to do an end run around what I’m sure was a devious manager who built himself up at my expense. If you think I sublimated my passion on the blog, I did it 100 times more at work in an abortive attempt to “fit in.” You can’t undo what’s been done, merely learn from it and try to remember it the next time.
So now I’m in this position of being where I am and trying to figure out where I want to go next. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the number of options in front of me, sometimes I feel depressed by the lack of options. Well, I suppose that everyone goes through that. For me, it’s also a bit of this weird feeling because in the past, most of my jobs have come to me rather than me seeking them. For what I’ve accomplished (and for having what I’m told is a really strong CV detailing my business experiences and accomplishments), I’m very frustrated that more isn’t coming my way now that the word is out that I’m “available for sale or rent.”
Maybe I’m flying under the radar (albeit in a vaguely public fashion) and perhaps that old fire will ignite these pages once again once the job thing is sorted and I’m feeling a bit more myself. I definitely haven’t been myself, whoever that is, for several months now, not just on the blog but in life. Ask almost anyone who knows me. For now, I’m feeling a bit beaten down.
There’s no point to any of this and this is very unfinished and rough but for once I’ll hit “publish” instead of “save draft.”


7 comments
Comment by Steve on December 17, 2009 at 11:47 pm
There are a lot more educated, motivated people out there than there were last time you were without a job. At work I try and bring some of the craziness, curiousity and enthusiasm I have outside my job but I realise that this will separate me out from the pack. That may be a good thing now but has held me back as not being a team player at senior level where fitting in is as important as getting results.
My latest thought is that if people need to be bribed to do stuff then bribe them as part of the corporate culture. If they are no good then they don’t get money, if they do then they are doing a worthwhile but undervalued job e.g. network support. We have invented corporate slavery why not add bribery to the list of charges and get some good client feedback as things get done on time.
The promotion moved just over thr horizon once again. Will I ever learn.
Comment by Spike on December 18, 2009 at 1:38 am
Yeah, I’m seriously fed up/burnt out on corporate politics. The litany of sins committed by my former employer would fill several books. And this ain’t the first company and first job where I was denied a promotion everyone said I deserved because it was felt I was too much of an individual. I’ll live … but I’ll also remember, for whatever that may or may not be worth.
Comment by Ed Burke on December 18, 2009 at 9:25 am
Dear Spike,
I was the one who raised the issue of mewling in public. I meant it to be helpful, not critical.
As for your current situation, you’re doing fine and everything is going to work out for you. Try not to sweat it.
Count your blessings.
Comment by Don Quixote on December 18, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I lost my job earlier this year only to be re-offered it when financing was found. I told my dross he could keep it, and am very happy with the decision.
Could you set up a consultancy to provide your knowledge and advice to short-handed companies?
I know one person let go from your company (though in the US), who is now being consulted by the person who took over his job responsibilities!
Comment by Spike on December 18, 2009 at 1:10 pm
It’s not really what I’m looking to do now.
Comment by Don Quixote on December 18, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Set up a small restaurant?
I have an idea for an ice-cream shop that I think would go down a storm, here. US company with no HK representation. Set up a small shop cheaply in Sai Kung, if it’s a success, replicate across town. Then replicate across China. Sounds easy, doesn’t it!
Comment by Spike on December 18, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Sounds easy … but I think McD’s and 7-11 have a tight grip on what I think is a tiny demand for ice cream in Sai Kung and rental prices in high traffic areas like LKF, Wanchai, CWB, TST would mean high barriers to entry in terms of requiring a large initial investment.