Looking back, 2009 could qualify as one of the worst years of my life.  My year in review:

I lost my job.  As did about a thousand other people in my company, many of them friends.  While I no longer liked the job, I had resigned myself to riding it out for another few years till retirement.  I liked the people I worked with (at least the ones in Asia, hated most of the people back in the home office), the pay was good, etc.   Maybe it’s better that I’m forced to look for something new, something that will energize me and get me excited about work again.  Or not.

I was seriously ill.  At one point my doctor told me that I almost died, though I think he was trying to put a scare in me because I wasn’t following his instructions … okay, so I sort of didn’t eat for about 2 weeks.  On the bright side, I lost 25 pounds and since I recovered, I’ve mostly kept that off (though my chocolate addiction is starting to resurface).   I’ve made some big changes to my diet, focusing more on fresh foods, less deep fried stuff, more veg, fruit and herbs, less beef.  Being ill also meant no alcohol for six months, which I managed to do.  Now that I am drinking again, it’s a slow and gradual ramp-up.  In a weird way, if I had been able to drink during those six months, due to the work stress I probably would have gotten wasted every night and managed to do even stupider shit than the shit I normally do.  So is it possible that getting sick and almost dying saved my life?

(Also weird, over the past few months, my obstructive sleep apnea seems to have disappeared.  No, I haven’t gone to a sleep center to have this confirmed.  But a year ago, I’d wake up in the morning more tired than when I went to sleep.  Now I wake up and feel normal, whatever that is.  And my gf confirms that my snoring is far less than what it used to be.)

And the next job, the one I really want, the one I was hoping to hear about before the end of the year, has not materialized.  I’m still hopeful that it will happen but I can’t put all my eggs into this one basket.

Things that brought me joy in 2009:

My relationship with my gf got stronger and our relationship got more secure after an incredibly rocky start to the year (we almost split up a week after New Year’s).  It is very much a surprise to me and to her credit that after almost 18 months we are still together and I remain monogamous – something I would not have thought possible for me.

My decision to work on my photography skills seems to be paying off.  My investment in PASM has led to lots of new friends and a new place to hang out that’s not a bar or worse.  Some of the best times I’ve had in the past few months have been there.

My very patient publisher was pushing me for a first draft on my book by the end of last year and obviously I didn’t even come close.  This time, with no job, I’ve got no excuse and the first draft is now about 80% complete.  I don’t believe this will sell more than 100 copies when finished but I’m enjoying this journey.

Moving my blog to this new domain and to WordPress was, in hindsight, long overdue.  I like this new “home” a lot and I’m grateful for everyone who comes here and even more grateful to those who leave comments.  (And, yes, grateful to those who click on the ads.)  I have a dream – probably a pipe dream but a dream nonetheless – that between blogging, writing and photography I could somehow earn enough to not have to take another straight job.  I don’t think that’s going to happen but I’m enjoying the pursuit of the dream nonetheless.

I know that by comparison to about 3/4′s of the world, my life is still an unattainable dream.  Many would gladly trade their lives for my “bad year.”   I do take the time to take stock in what I’ve got and what I’ve accomplished.  I don’t take that as an excuse to stop dreaming, to stop wanting to achieve and contribute, to allow myself to stand still.  That would be a fate worse than death.

So I’m looking forward to 2010 with the same sense of anticipation and excitement that I always have.  Happy New Year to all!

Share