(which is also the title of a guilty pleasure film from the 80s, I think)

So I was called for jury duty and today was the day.  I had no problem with that.  I believe in the jury system and clearly it won’t work if people try to evade this responsibility.  And since I’m currently unemployed, what was I going to use as an excuse to get out of it?  The biggest issue for me was needing to get up early enough so that I could be at the court house in Sai Wan Ho at 9:15 AM.

I got there at 9 and had a chance to sit alongside Aldrich Bay and have a smoke before going upstairs.  At 9:15, the bailiff (or whatever they’re called in the local system) came out and announced in Cantonese only that the jurors should come into the court.  Since everyone else sitting there was piling into the court room I was assigned to, I figured that was my cue.

Lining up to sign in, I could see the bailiff look up and note the one white guy on the line – I couldn’t quite read her expression but she looked less than thrilled.  There were about 25 of us and after we signed in, we took seats in the back of the court.  Some guy came by and dropped a huge stack of papers on the seat next to me.  It turns out he was to be my translator.

The judge came in at 9:30 and announced the details of the case.  The translator came and sat down next to me, didn’t introduce himself or anything, just started talking once the judge started talking, giving me an almost simultaneous translation.  When the judge and translator finished, I whispered, “Thanks.”  He whispered back, “You’re welcome.”  Very touching, no?

Anyway, the bailiff pulled out a plexi-glass cube and dumped a bunch of papers with numbers inside and then proceeded to draw out papers one by one.  As she announced each name, I sat there wondering if I was going to “win.”  But finally, five names announced, mine not one of them.

Those five people sat at the jury table.  They each read some statement, I suppose an oath of jury or whatever, the judge pronounced “Affirmed” after each of them.  When all five were finished, the judge thanked us for showing up and said we were welcome to stay and watch the case or to go.  I left.  Aside from the fact that the proceedings were all going to be conducted in Cantonese, this was a Coroner’s Inquest into the death of a 75 year old woman who’d died in hospital back in January.  There was some added wrinkle about her being “perceived” to be poor.  Whatever.  By 9:45 I was back out on the street.

Just kind of curious that they’d call 25 people for 5 spots.  Wouldn’t 12 or 15 have been enough?  At any rate, civic duty complete, I got on the MTR and came back home.

When I got off the MTR at Hang Hau, I was feeling a bit hungry and thought Burger King would be a cheap and vaguely reasonable choice.  I got to the BK at Nan Fung Plaza at 10:30 and discovered that they only serve the breakfast menu till 11.  Not too long a way, so I went back outside to the real plaza where I could sit, smoke, check email.

At 11, I went back to the Burger King.  Still no burger!  The only items from the menu available were the fish and chicken sandwiches.  If I wanted a burger, I was told that I’d have to wait another 20 minutes.  “But how can you be the King of Burgers if you don’t serve burgers?” I asked.  I didn’t really expect an answer and the girl behind the counter just gave me a sweet little smile, so I gathered up my stuff and left the empty Burger King and went around the corner to the packed McDonalds.  Seriously, 11 in the morning, 4 registers open and the crew there could barely keep up with the orders.   All school kids, with parents, grandparents or helpers, all clutching the free plastic toys that came with the food.

Well, okay, I know that McD’s spends about 100 times more on local marketing than BK but still, doesn’t anyone from BK take note of this disparity?   Not that one can tell.

Anyway, that’s my day so far.  Tonight there’s a party/photo-shoot event at PASM that they’ve titled, “A Dice of Lesbian Touch.”  I told them that doesn’t mean anything, at least not that I could figure out!  I tried some suggestions, they didn’t like any because they were deemed too explicit.  So I said, “Okay, stick with that, maybe it will at least get people curious.”   Here’s a link to the event page on Facebook in case you want to know more!