Feeling 10% more human today. But not easy. I can’t find a comfortable position for sleeping or sitting, because my liver is so swollen that it’s pushing against the nerves in my lower back, and so my back hurts, and also my right leg down past the knee.

Can’t find words. For “nerves” keep thinking “noun” and “verb” and put the two together to get “nerve”. And once I get the word, I have to start over again. My mind gets trapped in these repeating loops. I don’t have the attention span to watch a movie or read a book. Can’t sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at a time.

But here’s what pisses me off. Doctor #4, he listened to my chest and asked for a chest x-ray. He said I should go to Central. But I told him I didn’t have the strength. He said there’s a place in Hang Hau but a lot of his patients don’t like it, it’s kind of not modern. I said I don’t care, I’m sure I’ve been to worse. As long as they don’t have rats crawling over the machines I’ll be okay. Famous last words.

So we go there. Yeah. It’s kind of old and funky. Located on the side corridor of some shopping mall. The thing is, I get a chest x-ray every year. I know how they’re supposed to go. This guy stands me against the machine. Takes off my shirt. Positions me. Goes out of the room. I’m shivering. I can’t stand up straight for more than 2 seconds at a time. I’m waiting to hear him tell me to hold my breath and stand still, but instead he comes in and says it’s done. It’s done? Are you sure?

So we wait outside until he develops it and looks at it and says it’s okay. And then we go.

The next day, the doctor says the chest x-ray shows I have some tissue growth on my lungs. Probably benign but he’s not sure. I tell him what happened. Hmmmmm.

So now he wants me to go to Central for ultra-sound and another chest x-ray at a normal place.

So. I don’t have the strength to drive. I don’t have the strength to deal with the MTR, standing, walking those stairs. Green taxi from home to Hang Hau. Red taxi to Central. Red taxi from Central back to doctor’s office in Pik Uk. Green taxi from doctor’s office back home.

This place in Central does the x-ray properly. They position me. They put a lead apron around my legs – something the other place never did. They take two shots, not one. And guess what. The x-ray is clear. Fine.

Also the ultra-sound is good. Liver is swollen but no permanent damage. Bladder, prostate, kidneys, etc. all good.

Cost of first x-ray $150. Cost of 2nd x-ray plus ultra-sound $2500. Probably not covered by the shitty insurance from my soon to be ex-company.

Doctor tells me he will stop using the place in Hang Hau.

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My fucking subhuman boss. Sends me an email. “Oh, er, em, huh, I, um, er, don’t know what hepatitis is or what the treatment is but hope you feel better.” In the time it took him to type all that out, he could have typed google and then typed hepatitis but it’s easier for him to make me feel totally inconsequential to him, which of course I am since I’m gone in 5 months and he’s still got his job. Okay, give him the benefit of the doubt, even though he’s younger than me, I get the feeling he may be one of those people who hasn’t quite worked out the internet yet.

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took me about an hour to write the above. i apologize for typos, etc. best i can do right now.