This year’s Comedy Central roastee is Bob Saget, clean wholesome Full House and, what was it, America’s Lamest Home Videos and trying to live it all down by using more 4 letter words in his stand-up act than Lenny Bruce and George Carlin combined.

View some preview clips here: I especially liked Cloris Leachman saying “I am not here to roast Bob Saget. I came here to fuck John Stamos …. for the love of god, will someone please punch me in the face so I can see some stars?” Yes, lots of dirty jokes about the Olsen twins. If this one from Gilbert Gottfried made it in, you can only guess at what they cut out.
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Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard’s poster for PETA:
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Summertime. When faded stars vacation in Europe, charter boats and sunbathe topless. Heidi Klum and Cindy Crawford, to name but two.

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Did you ever notice that almost every bar in Wanchai has a sign in front advertising for staff and almost everyone of these signs specifies they are searching specifically for Filipino waitresses? I thought that sort of thing was illegal even here.

Which job would be worse: beer promotion girl in a whorehouse Wanchai disco or laundering the flop sweat and other assorted stains out of Donald Tsang’s shorts?

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Questions about the iTunes Apps Store that I’m not the first to ask but feel like asking anyway:

Do we need 14 different applications for calculating how much of a tip to leave in a restaurant? If you’re so fucking stupid that you can’t work out what 15 or 20% of $200 is, there is a freaking calculator already on the phone.

I was happy to download I Need More Cowbell because it’s free and cute if you’ve seen the SNL sketch. Who is paying 2 bucks to download Cowbell Plus?

Do we need 30 different Sudoku games?

I’ll trade you 25 Sudoku games for something that lets me fucking cut and paste.

If you like SF films, especially Matrix and Blade Runner, then you need to see the director’s cut of Dark City. It’s based on an original story from director Alex Proyas (The Crow, I Robot) and stars Rufus Sewell, Kiefer Sutherland, William Hurt and Jennifer Connelly plus Richard “Rocky Horror Show” O’Brien and Bruce Spence (Mad Max 2 & 3). The movie came out in 1998 and has some similar themes to The Matrix, which appeared a year later. The new director’s cut restores 10 minutes of footage and removes the narration. I’ve read that some of the CGI was “improved” for the new edition as well.

This movie flew completely under my personal radar when it was first released. Watched it last night and positively loved it. Though I have to say that the climatic fight between Sewell and O’Brien reminded me a bit too much of the cheesy wizards’ battle between Boris Karloff and Vincent Price in The Raven (which is really a lot of fun and you should see it if you haven’t already, especially for a wacky Peter Lorre and a very young Jack Nicholson – what, you didn’t know that there was a movie that has Karloff, Price, Lorre AND Jack Nicholson in the same film?). (Kiefer Sutherland is definitely channeling Peter Lorre in this.)

As for the plot … because it’s not entirely explained until 2/3rds of the way through the film, let’s consider this a SPOILER and please skip if you don’t want to know, though I’m not going to say anything at all about the ending …..

Okay, still here? Here’s some (but not all) of the set-up for the film. A race of people are kind of like Borg, with a group mind and group memories. They are dying out and they are studying humans to find out what makes them individual, secretly controlling everything going on in an unnamed city. Every night at midnight, they freeze time, everyone falls asleep and they rebuild the city and swap peoples’ personalities and memories. Today you’re a factory worker living in a dump, tomorrow you’re a millionaire in a mansion with a completely different set of memories and a different wife. We are not told how long this has been going on. We have no idea how many times people have had their memories wiped and refilled. Every now and then someone wakes up before they should and gets a glimpse of what’s going on ……

A neat concept and nice visual effects to go with it and more than a little reminiscent of The Matrix, eh? Especially because these “strangers” all dress alike and can float around. No “bullet time” or HK influenced action sequences – the influence here is more film noir crossed with Blade Runner – but stylish and entertaining nonetheless.